Christmas......almost here moms. HANG ON!

I hear the moms on Face Book. Our 16 year old has turned into the Grinch and he has had much healing. I remember when the kids were little and my 2 little ones with RAD were in trouble so often at school and wild and angry at home. It is hard.  When their behaviors step up, the therapeutic parenting needs to step up.

BUT....

Sometimes it helps a tad to realize this is normal for them. This is how it is going to be for now.

BUT....

As they heal Christmas' will get better. I remember that eventually I would be at this point and think "Oh yeah. I used to hate Christmas, but it is OK now." If you work hard using empathy, consistency, attunement, love and understand their trauma and let them know so, IT WILL HAPPEN.

BUT....

Do not focus on your child's behavior all the time. Do not become obsessed. Enjoy time with other family. Yesterday I went for a pedicure. Just that simple act of having someone care for me can be so refreshing this time of year. When your sick child's behavior steps up, your care of the caregiver needs to step up. During those times I found that going to bed one hour earlier was helpful.

Take care of yourselves mom. We all love moms, and care about your pain. You will get through this. Never, never, never quit.

Christmas + trauma = ?

Christmas is  a trigger for many children with past trauma issues. Fear or sadness drives much of their behavior. Here are a few reasons. Tomorrow we will talk about ways of dodging the fear bullets this season.

1. Old memories of Christmas' past, some bad, are stirred up. They may miss their "old family" or wonder what they are doing. They may fantasize about them.

2. The kids at school are wired. I think my kids feed off of that energy and just go one step further. If you picture a room full of hyper kids ours are the ones whose heads are popping up above the crowd as they leap on chairs and jump on other kids backs.

3. Warm fuzzies. Do you feel the warm fuzzies at times during Christmas? I do. When we turn on the lights to our tree. When I hear the Christmas carols. I just want to hug my whole family. Imagine those thoughts in a child afraid of love.

4.Changes in diet and schedule. The constant treats every where I go are TROUBLE for me and my diet. No problem for my boys. They shovel them in as fast as they can!! The programs have started and the parties will be soon. This means later nights.


Remember to take care of yourself. Take time away to enjoy this season and have yourself a Merry little Christmas. You really still can.