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Friday, December 2, 2011

If it is to be...is it really up to me? Brenda Nelson

Over the years I put tremendous pressure on myself regarding my children's healing. I felt like if anything would happen in my children's healing it would be because I  read the right book, tried the right technique, found the right the therapist, the right med, the right article on line.  I came to a realization...

I couldn't do it.

It was too much. A few years ago the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" became popular....I believe that is true with a child with RAD. Build your support. Blog, read blogs, find people to help. Ask each person in your area who is familiar with attachment and trauma issues what support organizations they  know about.  Then pursue them. The chances are some of them will not be right for you...but when you find the right connection it is so sweet. Here are a few suggestions: Doctor, therapist, Nurse practioner, foster parents support groups (if you don't know and can't find one, call HHS, adoption agencies, mental health agencies: in Nebraska the Nebraska Foster Adoptive Parent's Association and Right Turn have support groups in several cities) church, adoptive parents, blogs, ATTACh parent listserv.

If you still do not find the support you need, expand it to areas further away. If you find a support group that is too far, maybe a member will be your email buddy or meet you occasionally in between. Attend conferences and workshops on RAD and childhood trauma and talk to the other parents there. Get phone numbers and emails from them.

You help your kids most when you find help for yourself. An overwhelmed parent finds it hard to be empathetic, loving and tender. A supported parent will know they are not alone and WILL make it. If you cannot find support, please feel free to email me at brendanelson@counselingandenrichment.com and I will be your support buddy. You are not alone. Have a healing day.

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