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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Creating a Wonderful LIfe

This evening I watched It's a Wonderful Life. I love that movie. Just a couple of minutes into the movie this conversation takes place:
God:   Yes, Clarence. A man down on earth needs our help.
Clarence: Splendid! Is he sick?
God: No. Worse. He's discouraged.

That line always gets me thinking...No. Worse. He's discouraged.  Are you feeling discouraged? This is such difficult time of year for so many of our kids. It can be hard not to be discouraged.
Kick that discouragement to the curb!
Take one day at a time. Can you get through today? If you don't know, can you get through the next hour?

Use positive self talk. When you catch yourself having negative conversations in your head turn them around. Such as "Things are never going to be better". Tell yourself. "It will be better"

Reframe the situation. When you feel discouraged visualize a big ugly picture frame around the situation. The frame is dscouragement, or loss of hope. Then picture a beautiful new frame: Encouragement and hope. Which way would you rather look at the situation. Which way will get you through? In other words, picture things differently and then believe it will happen.

Change something. Remember the old saying "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"? Examine your parenting. Are there areas where this is true. Then change them up and try something different.
Anchoring:There are a couple of ways to take this. First of all, what is your anchor,your strength? Faith, family, a friend?  If you have none you are surely adrift. Find an anchor and hang on!
Anchoring is also a term used often for getting people out of internalizing. In other words, getting back out of your head.  Are you in the habit of spending much time over thinking, analyzing and worrying? Get back out of your head by using your 5 senses. Name things you can see, hear, taste, smell and feel. Enjoy the moment and focus on what is around you and don't allow yourself to go back "inside".
Storyboarding: Walk through the steps or think of a "story" of how this should look. This will help you work out problems that may come up. For example have a school Christmas party and you are worried about your child will handle it. Go through the steps involved in the party and work out a plan.
Mental Rehearsing. Practice it. Believe it. Practice positive responses to negative behavior.
Empowering beliefs: Believe you can do this. Know you can do this. Write it down and post it by your mirror because...You can do this. Believe your child will heal. Plan on it.
If you are discouraged, find encouragement in blogs, books, and good times out with friends. Don't make poor Clarence come back down here.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this post. I found the link to this post on another blog I found. My husband and I have been the foster parents to my cousin for 4 1/2 months now and are coming to see alot of issues from his attaction disorder. The holidays were horrible. It almost felt like our foster son was going out of his way to make our holidays horrible and to get our attention off of our 4 children. We are in this uncertain time of will he go home to mom within this next year or will he be up for adoption and if so we are looking to possibly adopt him. It has been hard and this post made me realize that I can be more proactive in preparing us for events. Thanks.


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