Parenting our children with loving eyes, gentle appropriate touch and attunement bring healing. Looking for the fear and sadness under the behavior and helping them understand what is driving the behavior brings healing. Keeping them close by physically when they are falling apart and helping them calm themselves brings healing. Having fun with them in short happy moments (long ones are too much) brings healing.....You can do this. It takes practice. It takes calming yourself first.
What does not work:
Being authoritarian in a military fashion
Natural consequences (yes they need them, because life will give them whether they figure it out or not, but it does not bring healing)
Time out (use time in when they stay near you quietly)
Feel free to share your successes and input! YOU are the experts.