I hear the moms on Face Book. Our 16 year old has turned into the Grinch and he has had much healing. I remember when the kids were little and my 2 little ones with RAD were in trouble so often at school and wild and angry at home. It is hard. When their behaviors step up, the therapeutic parenting needs to step up.
BUT....
Sometimes it helps a tad to realize this is normal for them. This is how it is going to be for now.
BUT....
As they heal Christmas' will get better. I remember that eventually I would be at this point and think "Oh yeah. I used to hate Christmas, but it is OK now." If you work hard using empathy, consistency, attunement, love and understand their trauma and let them know so, IT WILL HAPPEN.
BUT....
Do not focus on your child's behavior all the time. Do not become obsessed. Enjoy time with other family. Yesterday I went for a pedicure. Just that simple act of having someone care for me can be so refreshing this time of year. When your sick child's behavior steps up, your care of the caregiver needs to step up. During those times I found that going to bed one hour earlier was helpful.
Take care of yourselves mom. We all love moms, and care about your pain. You will get through this. Never, never, never quit.
Our sibling group of three, all dx'd with RAD have been home for 4.5 years. They are 14, 13 and 10. What we do for Christmas is give them gifts throughout the month of December and then give them their stockings on Christmas. Though Christmases are not perfect, this method has helped tremendously so they are not totally overwhelmed. Their friends are slightly jealous and have asked their parents if they could do Christmas like ours!
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